Good morning! Leah Borski here continuing the ‘UPlevel your energY’ series here inside of ‘Nurtured for Success.’
So I’m talking about a little bit of a touchy subject today, which is Why You’re Losing Your Sh!t Even Though Things Are Going Really Well in Your Business
… and it’s common and it’s not talked about a lot because we don’t want people to know when we feel like that because we want people to feel like we have our shit together, right?! We know what we’re doing. We’re on top of everything. We’re doing all the things. We’re balancing it all well. We’re doing everything that we need to do, and we’re doing it all great… and nothing’s wrong, right?!
So some of you don’t know my story. I’m just going to share a little about that this morning. So about 3 years ago, I was finally homeschooling my kids after a few years of really wanting to and trying to talk my husband into doing that with our family. He was not a fan of it, but I had really wanted to. We had just moved to New York City, which was like a dream come true to me. I had always wanted to live there, and we got transferred there with my husband’s military career. That motivated him to get our son out of public school and start doing homeschool. My daughter had not been in the public school system yet. She was just starting kindergarten that year. So it was – I really didn’t want to send my baby to kindergarten in NYC! Like it was very stressful and scary to me, and so we decided together to go ahead and homeschool our kids.
We had just moved and I had actually grown my business to the most successful it had been, even during our move from Florida to New York, even through all of these big changes. Even through a lot of stressors and life changes, I had grown my business and I was loving having all the clients and I was loving working with them.
About, I don’t know, 6 months into this, I started feeling off.
Really exhausted. Really kind of not myself. Really not motivated to do things, and I’m the type that’s like just go-go-go all the time. Especially when I have clients and my business is working, I want to keep creating things, I want to keep giving things and sharing things and doing things, you know? And I wanted to go take my kids out into the city and explore and do all these things because we had that right at our doorstep. And there came this point where I just didn’t have the motivation to do any of this. I didn’t feel like doing it. I was tired. I just didn’t feel right.
I remember going to my doctor at a certain point. I think it was about 9 months into this whole thing at that point, because I was like, “I don’t know what to do.” She wanted to put me on Zoloft… and I didn’t want to go on Zoloft! I know that that is the right choice for some people in certain situations. I also know that depression medications are very very overly prescribed and often given to people that don’t necessarily need them. So I was looking for some alternatives to try first before I went down that route.
What I found through that process was that I had been doing all the things, and I had been doing all the things I really wanted to do. And the thing that I had forgotten about was me.
I had forgotten to take time for myself. To take breaks. To do things that I like to do just because I like to do them. I had been working in my business as a wellness consultant, so I knew all the things that I need to do, that I ‘should be doing’ as far as what I should eat and how I should eat and when I should eat and, you know, I should get exercise every day, and, you know, some different stress relief practices. I knew all those ‘shoulds’ like what I should do. The trouble was actually making the time to do it because I was so busy, and I kept thinking I remember, I kept thinking, you know, once I get to this next place, then I can take a break. Then I can go, you know, get a massage or take half a day or do whatever. You know, it was this constant like ‘once this happens’ or ‘once I achieve this next thing’ or ‘once I get to this next level’ or you know.
If you’ve ever experienced this, let me know in the comments!
I know it’s hard to admit sometimes. It’s hard to express that because we feel like we see everybody else doing all the things, and they’re fine. They have all their shit together and it’s not a problem, and the truth is, that’s not always the case. What happens is, wherever you are in your life right now, wherever you are in your business right now – if you plan to grow your business at all from where you are now, if you’re having trouble fitting yourself in now…. How is that going to happen when you have 5 more clients, or 10 more clients, or however many is your goal – whatever is your fully booked level.
If you are struggling to make yourself a priority now, how is it going to happen when there’s even more on your plate.
[Tweet “If you struggle to make yourself a priority now, what will happen when you’re fully booked?”]
That is really something to think about because if you don’t make the space for it, it’s not going to happen. If we don’t create that space for ourselves, all the space, all the time in the day, it gets filled in with everything else. With other people’s emergencies, with other people’s problems, with other people’s priorities…. With our own nonpriorities! With stuff we know we shouldn’t be wasting our time on or putting our effort into but we do it anyways because we’re so exhausted that we’re just trying to do something, but nothing’s getting done, right?!
But at the same time, we’re being neglected. We’re neglecting ourselves and it is the fast-track to burnout and it is the fast-track to losing your business, and it is the fast-track to losing your happiness. And really, what are we all doing this for anyways if we don’t want to be happy, right?!
We can have all the things, and we can have all the success, and we can, you know, have all these, I don’t know, trophies or things that show how successful we are, but if we’re not happy at the end of the day, what’s the point, you know?!
[Tweet “We can have all the proof of success, but if we’re not happy at the end of the day, what’s the point?”]
So taking the time to take care of ourselves is so so important, and I see businesswomen and women in general do this all the time – put everything else first, put everyone else first, we don’t matter. That is not true. We matter because we’re here!
We matter because we’re trying to serve with our gifts and our talents and we can’t do that if we burn ourselves out to the point of being unmotivated or unenergized or all these different things that come up, and so I’m sharing this really to – not as a comparison. Everybody’s situation is different. Everybody’s story is different. Everybody’s path is different. All our journeys are different. It’s not about who has it harder or who has more challenges or who has it more stressful, or any of that stuff.
I know, when I was in that place struggling with burnout – and I didn’t even know it was burnout until months into it! – but I was in that place and I was seeing everybody else and I really fell into that whole, you know, “Other people have it harder. Why is this so hard for me?” right? Or “Other people are doing so well, and they have all the same challenges I have – why can’t I do this?” right? So if that is something that you’re struggling with, I’d love to talk with you. There is an easier way out and you can be supported, and you can be guided and not have to fumble through this all by yourself, and I can help you create the space in your day that you need to really nurture yourself and make yourself a priority and support yourself so that you can continue to grow your business and grow your success, and do it in a way that feels good and you can really be present and solid in what you’re doing. It spills over into every other area.
When we put ourselves first, it’s not about being selfish. It is us understanding that we cannot fulfill our mission if we don’t. We cannot be our best for our children, we cannot be our best for our partner, we cannot be our best for our clients. We cannot be our best in our business. We cannot be our best sharing our message. We cannot be our best and we have to be in order to do all that. So we have to make ourselves a priority too.
[Tweet “Making ourselves a priority is not about being selfish – we cannot fulfill our mission if we don’t!”]
So that’s what I want to share with you today. This is everything about your energy. I know I didn’t share any specific, “If you’re doing this, then you need to do that,” but it’s really this overall mindset and awareness about how you feel and how that comes out in your day-to-day.
So, if you’re ready to explore what that would look like to have support and guidance to help you get that strategy and systems and very simplified, streamlined processes to build that space into your day, I’m offering up some 30-minute consultations with me this week. Today is booked, but I have some for next week and I would love to talk with you. Here’s the link for that, and I look forward to talking with you!