Why You’re Losing Your Sh!t Even Though Things Are Going Really Well in Your Business
So I’m talking about a little bit of a touchy subject today. First, I need you to understand it is SO common. If you’re feeling like this, it’s not your fault and you are not alone!
The trouble is, it’s not talked about a lot because most of us don’t want people to know when we feel like that. Especially those of us who are working to grow our clientele and authority. We want people to feel like we have our shit together, right?! Because who would want to take instruction or advice from someone who is freaking-the-hell-out trying to manage it all?
So we put on a smile and hustle through so we can show everyone that we’re on top of everything. We’re balancing it all well. We’re doing everything that we need to do, and we’re doing it all great. No sweat, right?!
Does this resonate? I’ll tell you, I am raising my hand right along with you. I have been right there too.
So about 4 years ago, I was finally homeschooling my kids (after a few years of really wanting to and working to get my husband on board). We had just moved to New York City, transferred with my husband’s military career. This was like a dream come true to me. I had always wanted to live there, or at least spend Christmas there!
With kids, though, there was a lot more to consider than the bustle of the city and seeing it all decked out for the holidays. The fear of sending our kids on a bus and into a high-security public school in NYC was real for both of us,. For me, the thought of sending my daughter to kindergarten in NYC was an added stress and very scary. After many tearful conversations, we decided together that I would homeschool our kids.
Even through all of the transition & stress of moving and these huge life changes, I had actually grown my business to the most successful it had ever been. I was thrilled with having so many clients, and I loved working with them.
About 6 months into this, I started feeling off.
Really exhausted. Really kind of not myself. Really not motivated to do things, and I was the type to just go-go-go all the time. Especially when I had grown my business and it was finally working, I want to keep creating things. I wanted to keep giving and sharing things, you know?
Aside from work, I had been so excited to go take my kids out into the city and explore and do all these things that were right at our doorstep. And there came this point where I just didn’t have the motivation to do any of this. I didn’t feel like doing it. I was tired. I just didn’t feel right.
I remember going to my doctor at a certain point. I think it was about 9 months into this whole thing. At this point, I was like, “I don’t know what else to do.”
I had chosen this doctor specifically because she was both classically trained as a physician AND as a holistic health practitioner. I expected her to give me some sort of natural remedies to help me get out of this funk I was in.
Instead, my doctor wanted to put me on Zoloft…
I’ll share more about that in a minute. If you’re reading this and feel like you’ve reached a point where you just feel ‘off’ stay tuned to the end of this post. I’ll be sharing about my favorite Cheat Sheet with 5-Minute Energy Boosters, so you can take mini-breaks for YOU super quickly and easily, without added pressure or guilt.
So, getting back to my story: I was extra frustrated at this point, because I didn’t want to go on prescription medications!
I know that is the right choice for some people in certain situations. I also know that depression medications are very overly prescribed and often given to people that don’t necessarily need them. So I was looking for some alternatives to try first before I went down that route.
What I found through that process was that I had been doing all the things, checking off the to-do’s. And the thing that I had forgotten about was me.
I had forgotten to take time for myself.
To take breaks.
To do things that I like to do just because I like to do them.
I had been working in my business as a wellness consultant, so I knew all the things that I ‘should be doing’ as far as what/when/how I should eat, get exercise every day, drink water, etc.
The trouble was actually making the time to do it because I was so busy! So mostly, I was checking off the boxes, ‘workout done,’ ‘breakfast eaten’, etc. I was doing the bare minimum that I knew I needed, and it was feeling more like one of my chores than something I was actually doing FOR ME.
As far as anything else ‘extra’ for self-care, I remember, I kept thinking, “You know, once I get to this next place, then I can take a break,” or, “then I can go get a massage or take half a day or do whatever.” You know, it was this constant like ‘once this happens’ or ‘once I achieve this next thing’ or ‘once I get to this next level, then…’.
Have you ever experienced this?
I know it’s hard to admit sometimes. It’s hard to express that because we feel like we see everybody else doing all the things, and they’re fine.
They have all their shit together … and the truth is, that’s not always the case.
Wherever you are in your life right now, wherever you are in your business right now – I want you to ask yourself this question and answer honestly….
If you plan to grow your business at all from where it is right now, and you’re having trouble fitting yourself in now….
How will you fit YOU in when you have 5 more clients, or 10 more clients, or however many is your goal – whatever is your fully booked level?
If you are struggling to make yourself a priority now, how is it going to happen when there’s even more on your plate.
That is really something to think about because if you don’t make the space for it, it’s not going to happen. If we don’t create that space for ourselves, then all the space, all the time in the day, it gets filled in with everything else.
With other people’s emergencies and problems … other people’s priorities…. It all becomes us focusing on things that are actually our non-priorities! We get buried with stuff we know we shouldn’t be wasting our time on or putting our effort into but we do it anyways!
We keep ourselves on the exhaustion hamster wheel by running around crazy busy, but the stuff that matters most isn’t getting done, right?!
At the same time, WE are being neglected. We’re neglecting ourselves and it is the fast-track to burnout … it is the fast-track to losing your business … it is the fast-track to losing your happiness. And really, what are we all doing this for anyways if we can’t be happy, right?!
We can have all the things that show how successful we are, but if we’re not happy at the end of the day, what’s the point, you know?!
Taking the time to take care of ourselves is so important, yet I see businesswomen and women in general do this all the time – put everything and everyone else first, as if we don’t matter. That is not true. We matter because we’re here!
We matter because we’re trying to serve with our gifts and our talents! But we can’t do that if we burn ourselves out to the point of being unmotivated or unenergized.
Now, I’m not sharing my story as a means for comparison. Everybody’s situation is different. Everybody’s story is different. Everybody’s path is different. All our journeys are different. It’s not about who has it harder or who has more challenges or who has it more stressful, or any of that stuff.
I know, when I was in that place struggling with burnout – and I didn’t even know it was burnout until months into it! – I was seeing everybody else and I really fell into that whole mindset of “Other people have it harder. Why is this so hard for me?” Or “Other people are doing so well, and they have all the same challenges I have – why can’t I do this?”
So if that is something that you’re struggling with, I’d love to talk with you. There is an easier way and you can be supported and guided and not have to fumble through this all by yourself.
I can help you create the space in your day that you need to really nurture yourself and make yourself a priority and support yourself so that you can continue to grow your business and grow your success. You can do it in a way that feels good and you can really be present and solid in what you’re doing. It spills over into every other area of life.
When we put ourselves first, it’s not about being selfish.
It is about understanding that we cannot fulfill our mission if we don’t.
We cannot be our best for our children… for our partner…. for our clients. We cannot be our best in our business. We cannot be our best sharing our message. We have to be our best in order to do all that, so we have to make ourselves a priority too.
So that’s what I want to share with you today. This is everything about your energy. It’s really this overall mindset and awareness about how you feel and how that comes out in your day-to-day.
SIMPLE FIRST STEP: just infuse at least ONE 5-minute break into each day; that is JUST FOR YOU.
Often, I hear from women who don’t have any idea what they could possibly do in only 5 minutes. I actually struggled with this myself for very many years. It led me to create a super useful tool to help me use a ‘grab-n-go’ approach to self-care with super-intentional mini breaks.
I’d love to gift you this ‘5-Minute Energy Boosters’ Cheat Sheet
(it’s one of several simple self-care tools inside my FREE resource-rich Membership site, ‘Nurtured for Success’).
BONUS TIP: Schedule it into your planner for each day, or set a reminder alarm on your phone.
Make it happen every day. FOR YOU! <3