{VIDEO} This Common Mistake is Killing Your Business & Smothering Your Bliss


 

 

 

TRANSCRIPT

 

Hi Good morning. It’s Leah here. WElcome back to the ‘Uplevel Your Energy’ series. So we’re continuing all through this next week, and I have some really juicy tips coming for you this week. For those of you who are newer to the group or don’t know me well, I’m Leah Borski. I’m the host of the group, I’m the best-selling author of the book, ‘Eat to Beat Stress’ and I’m a Holistic Wellbeing Strategist for ambitious women who are ready to stop self-neglect and start feeling good as you build your success in business and life.

 

So today, I want to talk about this really really super common mistake that women especially make and it’s killing our businesses and it’s smothering our bliss. What I mean by that is I’d love to know – post in the comments and let me know, what was one of the main reasons you started your business in the first place. Why did you decide to leave the corporate world or leave your office job or whatever you were doing before, or if you’re a mom and hadn’t been in the workforce for awhile and just decided to start your own business with kind of a break in between, why did you decide to do that?

I’d love to hear your comments and know kind of what was your thought process, what was your ‘why’ for getting started with this whole ‘I’m gonna have my own business’ in the first place.

 

For me, I had been working remotely for 7 years in the medical field, and even though I was free from an office schedule and a commute and everything else, I was still tied to my desk for 6-8 hours a day. I had quotas to meet. I had deadlines to meet. It was still very stressful and it’s kind of funny because a lot of people that knew I worked from home – I don’t know what they thought I was doing but they didn’t think I was working. It was this constant, ‘Let’s go to the mall’ Let’s go do whatever and I was like, “I can’t leave my desk! I have to stay here working!”

So one of the major inspirations for me to leave that profession and shift into having my own business was freedom. The freedom to make my own schedule. I know as we grow as businesswomen, I mean a lot of my motivation and inspiration and ‘why’ now is a lot deeper than when I started, but when I first started it was really about the freedom. Not having to answer to someone else’s schedule and deadlines and everything else. Of course, when we’re working with clients we do have deadlines, but we have more freedom to create the boundaries around that ourselves and have more say about how that’s going to work, right. So for me, it was huge about freedom.

 

I mentioned this the other day, if we are not feeling happy in our business, if we are doing this whole work-life-everything and we don’t feel good and we don’t feel happy, like what are we doing this for? Right? If we’re so consumed and run by our business versus running our business – do you understand the difference? Like, if our business is running us, then what does that look like? We’re putting out fires all day long. We’re in response mode versus proactive mode all day long. And this isn’t just in our business, this is in every part of our lives, right? If we wait and don’t set those boundaries, don’t set those parameters, don’t be proactive and set it up the way that we want it to be, what is going to happen? It’s going to run us and it’s going to run us ragged. So this bleeds over into every other part of our lives, right?

Even, we might be totally on top of our business and we don’t let it run us that way, but other parts come in, right, and our kids need something and we get sidetracked with that – or however that works, right?

 

But so many of us are in this reactive mode – “OK I’ll take care of this when something happens and it’s an emergency and now I have to take care of it.” So what happens is it runs us ragged, it burns us out, it leaves us exhausted. Not only do we lose our passion for our business or our other personal things that we love, but we can’t be effective in our business and we can’t be effective showing up for all the people we care about, because we’re in this like ‘frazzled mode.’ What happens is we get stuck in this exhausted mode, and it’s like this snowball effect. So first, we’re less whatever our top priority is – so if we’re like, ‘business is the thing we need to focus on most, that’s the most important’ – that’s going to be the first thing where it really shows up  where you’re like slipping, falling, things aren’t clicking. You’re running out of gas, you don’t have inspiration, you don’t have the motivation to do all the things you need to do. It trickles down, and so the more you’re kind of spinning your wheels in your business, the more that leaches out into your personal life. If you don’t have the energy to do all the stuff you need to do in your business, but you’ve really got to get all this stuff done, right? The less energy you have to put into your relationships with your partner, with your children, with your friends, and with yourself.

And we tend to put our business up here, and then our family and personal things right here – or maybe there’s a little bit of back and forth with that, and then we put ourselves way down here. “We’ll get to that later. We’ll get to that when there’s a little bit more time. We’ll get to that when I’ve got a little bit extra time, energy, whatever.” And here’s what happens with that – it never happens. If we’re running ourselves ragged with all these other things, how are we going to have the energy left to take care of ourselves at the end of the day. Like, we’re an afterthought, right, and how is that serving us? How is that serving our clients? How is that serving our children? How is that serving our partner? How is that serving ourselves? We deserve to feel good in our lives, and why are we neglecting ourselves of that? Why are we depriving ourselves of that?   

 


{responding to viewer comment} 
Yes, emotionally and physically. Yah, it’s all encompassing, so you do, you get exhausted physically and then it rolls into this emotional exhaustion because you start to feel guilty that you can’t do all the things. That you aren’t putting in all that you want to give in any one of these aspects. And then, you know, “How dare I think of doing something for myself when I haven’t done for this, this, and this yet!?” Right? It’s common and it’s normal and I think every woman goes through these thoughts and feelings – but it’s not necessary and it’s backwards! And that is so what this series is about and what my mission is about and what my message is about that it’s backwards. That we deserve to be up here along with everything else.

 

 

To help you understand that everything else can’t stay up here if you don’t put yourself up here also. The way that works is if you burn yourself out, if you’re burning the candle from both ends, you have no energy left for yourself, then you’re running on fumes. And you’re using those fumes to try to keep your business going, to try to keep your relationships going – and that doesn’t work because we can’t live on fumes. The less energy that we have in general, teh less motivation and effort we have to put into ourselves. So it’s this catch 22, right? So the more tired we are, the harder it is to take care of ourselves – and the less we take care of ourselves, the more tired we are! Which is crazy, but that’s how it is. So if we want to be successful in our business and have fulfilling relationships and serve our purpose in this world that we came here to do, we HAVE TO be part of that top priority tier.

 

The thing is, it’s kind of funny to me about women entrepreneurs because we are ‘take charge’ kind of people. It is a vicious circle, and it totally feeds on itself so it’s this total snowball effect so the worse it gets in one area, the worse it gets in the next area. So it’s really important to like STOP and put the brakes on that. It feels so counterintuitive, but we need to pour into ourselves first. And what happens is, it’s like this backwards snowball effect — well, not backwards, but it’s a snowball in better direction, I should say. So it starts building momentum to the positive, to feeling good, to having more energy, to being more vibrant ad alive in your business, ,more connected with your clients, more connected with your personal relationships, and you feel good because you know that you are worth taking care of and you know that you are doing that for yourself.

 

The thing is that women entrepreneurs, like we are so – I mean, fine, whatever, people can call us bossy, people can call us bitches – they can call us whatever they want … but we are TAKE CHARGE people! That’s our personality. We take charge. We don’t sit and wait around for someone to give us the schedule we want or give us the paycheck we want, or anything like that, right? But when it comes to ourselves, what do we do? We sit back and wait. “Well, you know, I kind of feel like not good, like it’s not ok for me to do that. It makes me look like I’m selfish. It makes me look like I’m lazy. I’ m not a good person if I put myself first, because that means all these other ugly things, right?

That’s not taking charge! That’s just sitting around waiting for something and nobody’s going to do it for us! Nobody! Right? And what I’m so passionate about is helping you understand that you are that person – you KNOW you’re that person, that take charge – I’m going to make this the way I want it because that’s the kind of woman that I am” – and that means including you too!

Not going out and fixing everybody else.

Not going out and saving everybody else.

Not going out and taking care of everybody else – yah we do that because it’s our joy, that’s our passion. That’s why we created businesses where we help other people, right?

But we have to feel that for ourselves too. We have to do that for ourselves too!

Stop the bullshit.
Take charge.
Put yourself up here with everything else.

Take care of yourself with everything else. Watch how everything changes in a positive way – not in the negative way that you’re scared of. I know a lot of us are scared. I was scared for many years. It took me hitting this severe year of burnout to realize, like ‘holy crap, I’m doing this wrong’ AND I’, not the person to just sit around and wait. We’re not the kind of people to just sit around and wait. We get things done! We make things happen. That’s why we’re doing this. It’s important that we feel good while we’re doing this, and the way to do this is to take care of ourselves.

So today is the very last day to schedule your ‘Uplevel Your Life’ discovery call with me to explore my upcoming program, which is the 90-day Elevate Intensive. I’ve been talking about it every day for the last 2 weeks, but in case you don’t what that is – in case you missed all that – it is a very high-touch program. I’m only allowing 5 women in for this session.

{UPDATE: Waiting list available for next session! Schedule your ‘Uplevel Your Life’ strategy call ASAP!}

We start Oct 1st. So if you schedule your appointment today, then I will honor the special pricing all this week for appointments scheduled today. So here is the link for that.

It’s really a high-touch, personalized, put your own self-care plan in place. And it’s not just like the simple here’s what you need to eat and here’s the activities you need to do, and here’s how you do this, and here’s your stress relief stuff. Like those are all major components, but it’s really broken down into doing it in a very personalized, unique way for you. Because everybody’s different.

And here’s the thing. I used to do programs that were very cookie-cutter type- “Ok everybody’s going to do the exact same thing, and everybody’s doing to do it the exact same way, and then let’s hope that everyone has the exact same results. And guess what? They don’t because we’re all different!  What works for me isn’t necessarily going to work for you. What I like, you’re not necessarily going to like.

And what is so important when we’re putting together a self-care plan, a taking care of us plan, a FEEL GOOD practices plan is that it feels good for US. That we enjoy what we’re doing! We’re not going to stick with it if we don’t enjoy it, and that’s really at the core of this program. It’s not that you do this thing for 90 days and then you’re ‘fixed’ and then you don’t have to do anything else anymore. And it’s not about you do this thing for 90 days and it’s like this chore, but it will be over in 90 days. It is so not like that! It is so like you’re going to look forward to it every day because you’re nurturing yourself every day.

We are doing this in very small steps, in real time, so that as you take each step, you’re supported all the way. This is not just a thing you’re going to do for 90 days. This is 90 days of getting really drilled down and specific and having a greater understanding of yourself and your own personal habits and your own personal blocks and the things that are hanging you up and keeping you stuck right now, and keeping you feeling exhausted.

All the things that are keeping you stuck in that place – we’re going to release those, we’re going to replace those, we’re going to weave in some really simple habits to help support you, and these are things that, after the 90 days, will continue because you will have a solid routine, solid anchors in your day, that no matter what life throws at you, no matter what happens in your business. Because, you know, there’s never a ‘getting there’ place, right. It’s not like you do all this stuff and then, ‘oh, I’m there! Now I get to stop, I don’t have to do this anymore.” That doesn’t work in our business. That doesn’t work with our health, with our self-care, any of that stuff. There is no ‘there.’ It’s learning how to implement this into your life in a way that you can stay consistent with for the long-term and you can support yourself for the long-term.

 

And when – not ‘if’ but WHEN – life happens and shit comes at you, you are solid and prepared and it might blow you back a little bit, but it’s not going to knock you down. Like you are ready and you are nurtured and you are taken care of and you are stronger than ever, and it might make you sway a little bit, but there’s no breaking you. That’s what this program is for.

 

I cannot wait to talk with you this week. Here’s the link for my scheduler so we can chat.

 

Thank you for joining me!

 

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