My Struggles with Fear – The Intimidating P90X

Last week, I took the plunge and ordered the workout program that has even fitness die-hards dropping like flies.  Did I mention I am not a die-hard?! I’ve just recently become a regular worker-outer, relatively speaking.  I’m nearly 40 years into my life and just learning to enjoy the benefits of exercise.  Enjoying the actual act of exercising is an even fresher experience still!  So why would I subject myself to a program I’ve heard has defeated so many before me, people who are likely in better shape and possibly more motivated?

Let me start off by saying that, as a Beachbody Coach with a couple of other, less intense programs under my belt, my initial motivation for considering P90X was for business.  I’ve had potential clients ask me about this program, but I’ve felt very uncomfortable with the idea of coaching people in such an intense program without having done it myself.  And here was the point that I reached an internal struggle of epic proportions…because the mere thought of P90X scares the crap out of me!!!  After several days of consideration, I decided to go for it.  I ordered the program, still a bit hesitant – but hopeful.

Two days ago, I received my program, complete with the 12 workout DVDs, an exercise guide, and a nutritional guide, plus a bunch of extras – an 80-page healthy cookbook full of all kinds of yumminess I can’t wait to make (I will be posting some of these later), P90X+ (5 advanced level targeted workouts), and another bonus “Fountain of Youth” workout.  Digging through and finding all of these bonus materials felt like Christmas!  I’ve never been so excited to get ‘work’ in the mail!  That became a defining moment for me – the excitement for something so powerful and challenging to come into my life.  My challenge group isn’t starting until April 8th, but I couldn’t handle the anticipation of what these little packages hold for me.  I had to rip into it and try my first workout – see what I’m getting myself into here.

More than a little nervous, I pushed play on my first P90X workout – Cardio X.  Cardio is my very least favorite of all exercise.  It has been since I was in grade school.  Anything that gets my heart rate high enough to be considered ‘cardio’ has always made my chest, throat, and ears ache.  I know, it sounds weird, but it’s always been that way for me and I’ve always hated it.  So, as I thought to myself, “it’s OK, I can always sub an elliptical workout on cardio days if I need to,” I pushed play and got started.  This workout was like no other cardio workout I’ve ever done.  Within 45 minutes (which, I’m not kidding, seemed like maybe 20) we warmed up with some yoga and then cycled through a sampling of martial arts and plyometrics.  Tony Horton’s personality is growing on me (it’s taken some time) and some of his comments during this workout had me and my 7-year-old son (who did the martial arts segment with me!) giggling.  By the end of my workout, my heart rate was up, my sweat was ON, and I could feel muscles all over my body that had worked.  But I felt that good “I just worked out” kind of sore, not the “my body just got worked over” kind of painful that makes you never want to work out again!

I got through that workout without having to stop, and for me that’s an accomplishment in itself, because I was afraid that would be the one that proved that little voice in my head right, the one that was just waiting to say with conviction, “See, I told you so – you really shouldn’t have even tried this.”  I’m more determined than ever to complete this program, but my reasons have changed.  I’m still excited to have the insight of experience to offer my clients, but I don’t feel that alone would get me to see this through.  In the process of considering it, I realized I was comparing myself to others, thinking, “If people more into fitness or in better shape than me can’t finish it, how could I?” Something switched in my mind after doing that first workout, and my motivation is not to prove I’m more fit or capable than others who haven’t completed it – or even to prove I’m as capable as those who have.  This is all for ME – to stomp that negative voice in me that says “you can’t.”  For too many years of my life, that voice has been an overwhelmingly powerful force, and doing this is a huge step, following a series of baby steps, toward crushing it.  I don’t need or want to be trapped in self-imposed limitations any longer.  I’m going to do this, and I’m going to share it with you in the hopes that it motivates all of us to push past our fears, step out of our comfort zones, and do something good for ourselves – both physically and mentally.

There’s still time to join me in this group – e-mail me for more info: info@leahborski.com

If you really don’t feel ready for this challenge, that’s OK!  Contact me for info about how I can help get you started with a program more suitable to your personal goals.  I want to help you succeed in whatever program you choose.

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