Rock Bottom – An Embarrassing Secret Revealed

I have a confession to make – I’ve been hiding behind facts, for fear of being judged, rejected, ridiculed.  For months I’ve been just tossing out numbers, figures, and information, hoping that will help you realize how much Beachbody products have changed my life and how they could change yours too, without sharing WHY I started as a CUSTOMER in the first place.

I’ve been keeping a secret out of fear, and it’s time I step out from behind the security and comfort I’ve been hiding behind.  Up until now, I’ve only shared this with my husband and one single trusted friend, and it took an enormous amount of courage for me to even share it then.  Why am I sharing now, with people I know will judge me, look down on me, laugh at me… With people I don’t even know…. With acquaintances who will definitely see me in an entirely different light after hearing my story? Because I know there are others out there going through the same shame and embarrassment that it took for me to finally step up and do something to change.  I had to hit rock bottom before I was really ready to completely commit to a program and lose the weight and really feel comfortable in my own body the way I’d never thought I could….

It all started 12 months ago, almost to the day, when my family relocated cross-country from California to the Florida Keys.  My U.S. Coast Guard husband had been transferred.  We spent 12 days traveling, with a moving van and our truck loaded to the gills, our two children, cat, pet lizard, and a bucket of pet fish! I’d secretly vowed to work out every day during our trip, whether it meant hitting the hotel gym or doing whatever I could think to do in the hotel room to keep from completely blowing up from all the inactivity and less-than-perfect food options during our 12-day road trip.  Circumstance and lack of energy provided convenient excuses for me to let my ‘vow’ slip – I ended up working out 3 days out of the 12.

So after nearly 2 weeks of driving and then another week of unpacking and getting our new house put together and feeling more like ‘home’ we finally took a break one day, a chance to get ourselves and the kids out of the house to do something completely fun and NOT moving/unpacking/cleaning related!  We decided to go to the base pool.  My daughter had just turned 2, and I was still wearing the same swimsuit I’d worn just a few months after she was born – swim shorts and a tankini top – the most coverage I could possibly find short of wearing pants and a t-shirt into the pool.  It felt tighter now than it did then, but I didn’t really think anything of it when we left the house – it wasn’t like we were going to see anyone we knew here in this new place where we didn’t know anybody!  We pulled into the parking lot and started to gather our towels, opened our doors to get out and go back to unbuckle our kids from their car seats.  I barely noticed two women walking toward our car on their way to the pool, until one of them said ‘hi’ to my husband, and called him by name.  He said ‘hi’ back, and the women walked on by… a seemingly inconsequential moment, but one that definitely caught my attention and essentially would change my life forever.  As casually as I could manage, I asked my husband who they were.  He told me their names, which I honestly don’t remember, and said they work with him on the boat.  The boat, where I knew he would be spending months at a time out to sea with those women, knowing his fat and unattractive wife was at home.  Months at a time out to sea with those women, who seemed so slender and confident in their bikinis, those women who had said hi to MY husband right in front of me, as if I wasn’t even there…  Would they have stopped and talked to him had I not been there?  Would he have felt flattered by the attention?  Mind you, in 13 years of being together, my husband had not so much as looked at another woman, let alone given me any reason to think he would be unfaithful, and I had never felt insecure about his devotion to me.  But in that moment, the idea consumed me.  I was so ashamed of what I looked like, I got into the pool as quickly as possible for fear of those women seeing what they were (or, rather, weren’t) up against and made excuses to not get out until I was sure they had left.

Days went by, I can’t tell you how many.  That day at the pool would not leave my mind.  Suddenly, I was acutely aware of what I’d let myself become.  I needed to lose some weight, and I needed to do it YESTERDAY!  I didn’t have a set number of pounds I wanted to lose, or a specific size I wanted to fit into – I just DID NOT want to feel as completely lumpy and frumpy and plain old undesirable as I felt right then.  It didn’t matter what my husband said or how he treated me – I FELT DISGUSTING.  That was the turning point for me.

I looked up gym schedules and searched for ‘mommy fitness’ classes where I could bring my daughter once my son was back to school – I knew I would not be able to keep a consistent workout schedule with my husband gone on the boat and 2 kids at home.  I was frustrated at not being able to find anything that suited my needs, and then I saw a random Facebook post by a local Beachbody coach.  She had an upcoming challenge group starting – workout DVD programs I could do at home and have group support online to help me stick with it.  I practically begged my husband to agree I could join.

It seemed like a lot of money to throw into something we weren’t even sure would work – what did we know about this ‘Beachbody’ company anyway?  I didn’t know anything about it and felt a little unsure, but I also felt it was the solution I’d been searching for.  But even though I was READY, I still had to do a lot of research to convince him….

If you’ve read this far and you’re suffering with similar feelings of self-loathing or shame over what your body looks and feels like, believe me when I tell you I understand. I’ve been there too.  If you’re crying because you’re in that rock bottom place right now and don’t know how to get out, or you know you’re on the verge but haven’t been able to admit it to yourself until now, PLEASE LET ME HELP YOU!!! I’ve been where you are, and I want to help you OUT of that dark and uncomfortable place.  No judgment, no ridicule, just honest support and encouragement to help you find the happiness, confidence, and self-appreciation you DESERVE.  A journey of a thousand miles starts with ONE STEP…. take it.  I’ll be holding your hand every step of the way and I can only do that once YOU take that first step and contact me for help. I’m here, reaching out to you.  Sharing this story is HARD.  It’s uncomfortable and scary for me, but if it helps one person it was worth it.  You don’t have to share your story with the world… just e-mail me today and let me hear you and help you:  Tell me your name and your biggest challenge to start, and we can go from there.  I can’t wait to hear from you….Leah

….Here’s the INFO that I had to present to my husband to convince him this was the right solution for me…. I found that Beachbody has an A+ rating with the BBB, which was reassuring because we are always super cautious about who we give our credit card information to online, and it meant they’re not a scam company with a bunch of unhappy customers who’ve been duped by empty promises.  Still, it really felt like a LOT of money to blow on something if it’s not going to do what you want it to.  When it came down to it, I found I could get the workout program (which I could do forever if I wanted to, 7 days a week if I wanted to) AND a 30-day supply of Shakeology for about the same price I had been paying EACH MONTH at a gym back in California for only 2 classes per week and zero nutritional support, let alone an actual daily supplement/meal.  I also found that Shakeology has no chemicals, additives, artificial anything, which is super important to me, and also comes with a 30-day money back guarantee… so if it didn’t work for me, I could send it back risk-free (which was super important to both of us).

Anyway, that was what sealed the deal, and I started my first program at the end of August 2012.  I lost 12 pounds and 9 inches during the first 30 days doing Brazil Butt Lift and one serving of Shakeology daily, on MY schedule.  I was convinced.  I was ELATED! I had accomplished something I wasn’t even sure I could do, with something I wasn’t even completely sure would work, and I FINALLY felt good in my body….. I’ve gone on to lose a total of 23 lbs. using Beachbody programs and Shakeology, and my results and success prompted me to begin coaching so I could help others.  That’s another story for another day 🙂 Here’s what my first 30-day results looked like:

BBL before and after plus current photo May 2013

If you read this all the way to the end, you are READY! You’re looking for proof that you CAN DO THIS, instead of excuses why you can’t.  You believe this WILL WORK for you too, or at least that it’s worth a shot – you’ve got nothing to lose… E-mail me right now and let’s work together to find YOUR SOLUTION!  I can’t wait to talk with you! ~ Leah

1 thought on “Rock Bottom – An Embarrassing Secret Revealed”

  1. Martha

    Dear Leah,
    I am not judging you. I still love you. I see you as an amazingly intelligent, creative, courageous, strong woman for powerfully taking on all your moves from Washington state and across country to Florida with young children in tow. Managing to do your exercise routine on three days of a twelve-day cross country trip with two children vying for your attention is a sign of remarkable resolve in my book. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You remind me a lot of your Grandmother Edens who moved from Chicago to Oregon with a family of six children at that time. I don’t really know your Grandmother Riis, but knowing Jennifer, she must have been amazingly strong and intelligent in her own rite. I also request that you go easier on yourself for 1) not regaining your pre-pregnancy body as fast as you wanted to and 2) for feeling jealous of the gals who greeted Donny at the gym. Thank you for trusting Donny to be faithful to you. And thank you for sharing how things really are for you. When I stay to myself, I tend to think that nobody else experiences emotions like jealousy, loneliness, anger, sadness like me. I want to get to know you more after reading your share.
    P..S. Your story is a strong testament to Beach Body’s program too.

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